I recently re-edited my ebook to put it into print form (which is currently displayed wrong on Amazon — working on fixing that). This left me with a hard copy full of editing notes that would either get tossed or sit on a bookshelf of get tucked away in a closet. Instead, I chose to take a giant leap of faith into a zone of great discomfort and share the book with a friend.
This is a close friend; someone I have confided in regarding other very private and sensitive topics, yet I had never told her anything about my hand or my condition. Clearly she knew my hand was different, but has never made a comment or done a double take.
A number of recent circumstances told me that NOW was the time to share this with this particular friend. And so I did.
After a normal Monday swim day at her home I decided “today is the day!”
With much nervousness, I lingered a bit in saying goodbye. She had been inquiring recently about a project I began some months back. My updates for her have been vague as not much progress has taken place. Not much progress, because my time and energy has been spend on the rework of Overcomer. So I had my opening:
“You’ve been asking me about the next book. I haven’t made much progress because I’ve been working on another project.” Handing her the book I continue, “I wrote this some years ago as an e-book and have been working the past few months on getting it ready for a print format. It’s not something I communicate well and I prefer you don’t leave it around the house. It’s a subject I’ve been content to keep boxed up and compartmentalized all these years.”
With much interest and a glint of surprise she receives the book and gives it a look. Flipping to the back she quickly gets the gist as she reads, “I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it has 10 fingers and 10 toes.”
A few minutes of vague chatter ensues before I say my final goodbye and depart for home. I know this information is safe with her, yet there is still much nervousness. This is very much a topic I keep segmented. It’s a topic I don’t address often, probably because despite outward appearances, it is a very sensitive topic for me. There is much hurt surrounding Poland Syndrome, hurt that has never been worked through.
So this is a first step, maybe towards healing, but definitely towards being better known by someone I consider a close and trusted friend. Not a baby step by any means, but a giant, flying leap.